


Becareful What Youtube

by pushingcrazies



Category: Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M, M/M, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-27
Updated: 2012-03-27
Packaged: 2017-11-02 14:49:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/370183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pushingcrazies/pseuds/pushingcrazies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a quiet day at New Scotland Yard, the sort of day that usually led to mischief amongst the ranks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Becareful What Youtube

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic ages ago, but somehow missed it when making the transfer from Tumblr to AO3.

It was a quiet day at New Scotland Yard, the sort of day that usually led to mischief amongst the ranks.  Lestrade wasn’t normally one to hope for murder, but right now he’d even take a break-in or robbery if it meant keeping his subordinates from taking their boredom out on each other.

Shortly after lunch, it looked as though he was going to get his wish when Sally popped her head into his office.  But this wasn’t her “new case” face, this was her “I’ve got bad news I don’t want to tell you” face.

“What is it?” Lestrade asked when she hesitated.

“Are…you and your ex fighting again?” she asked.  She looked as though she’d rather be anywhere but here, even at a crime scene facing the full condescending wrath of Sherlock Holmes.

“No,” he said.  “Not that I know of.  Why?”

“We found something.  On the internet.”  Her eyes darted around the room, looking anywhere but at him.  “You might want to see it.”

He was confused and intrigued.  He followed her out into the bullpen and to Dimmock’s desk, where nearly half the Yard had gathered.  At his approach, several of them giggled and disappeared.  The others parted to allow him to walk right up to the desk where Dimmock and Gregson were holding court.  Dimmock quickly closed his browser, but Tobias grinned at Lestrade, looking more like the Cheshire Cat than a human being.

“What’s going on, Greg?” Tobias asked.

“I was about to ask you the same thing,” Lestrade said.  Dimmock was blushing and refused to look him in the eye.

Gregson took control of the mouse.  “We were bored, so we were looking up stuff on the internet.  We came across an interesting link.  Care to see?”

Without waiting for his answer, Gregson pulled up the browser and reopened the last closed tab.  It seemed to be a home-made sex video.  Lestrade was just about to dismiss it as juvenile stupidity when he suddenly recognised the bedroom furniture.  His face paled.

“Where did you get that?” he spluttered.

“We just found it,” Dimmock explained.  “Somebody else put it on the internet.”

“Who’d you piss off lately?” Gregson said.

The figures in the bed were somewhat obscured by a sheet, but Lestrade’s voice murmuring dirty talk was unmistakeable.  “Turn it off,” he demanded.

“No, wait for it…” Gregson said.

The woman in the video began to buck wildly, her voice rising in ecstasy.  She suddenly went completely still and let out a tremendous moan.  Gregson clapped Dimmock on the shoulder.

“That, son, is a woman who just had a _real_ orgasm.”

Dimmock turned even redder; Lestrade was vaguely concerned he might pop a blood vessel.  Just as he thought things couldn’t possibly get any worse, who should turn the corner but Sherlock Holmes and his faithful pet doctor.  They made a beeline for the crowd around Dimmock’s desk.  Lestrade decided he might actually die from embarrassment.  They both froze when the realised what was on the computer screen.

John at least had the decency to look away, but Sherlock’s eyes were riveted to the screen.  John looked from him to the screen, then at Lestrade.  He smirked and started to walk away.

“Where are you going?” Lestrade shouted after him.

“To call Mycroft,” John said.  “I think we finally found Sherlock’s ‘area.’”


End file.
